I wasn’t the first one of my friends to get an iPhone. Infact, I think I delayed getting one because I didn’t want to be one of those losers who ‘follows trends.’ What a stupid reason not to do something. Now I look at people who have similar reasons for not doing or liking something and I feel sad for them and think how unfulfilled their life must be. My first iPhone was a 3GS. It was the standard black colour. I admit, I instantly forgot what life was like without one. Yep, I was a god fearing iPhone addict - god being Steve Jobs and my addiction being apple.
Now, the point of this story isn’t to blab on about how great iPhone’s are. The point is to tell you why I am never going to purchase another iPhone again.
iPhone no. 1 was an iPhone 3GS. This phone stayed with me a while, it even came overseas. We bonded over many games of Bejewelled 2 and it comforted me on many bumpy bus ridesthrough the country side of South East Asia. Whenever I hear the band The XX, nostalgia washes over me and I transport back in time to those tiny seats and windy roads. My iPhone was the perfect companion except… I couldn’t turn it off. I thought I was so clever jail breaking my iPhone. I had to run this program through my phone on my laptop called blackra1n. It would basically hack the phone and I would be able to download any app for free. Of course, I had chosen NOT to take my laptop with me which meant once it was off, it stayed off. I did pretty well most of the trip, keeping it on charge. I remember it died about 3 weeks in. I took it to a mobile shop in Hanoi, Vietnam and they jail-broke it for me. I didn’t even have to ask (not that they spoke english) they just gestured to me to come back in 10 minutes, which I did and that was it. It later died again in Cambodia. No one in Cambodia knew anything about iPhones. It was a very boring journey home.
The story behind the death of my iPhone no. 1 happened one fateful night in a triangular house in Bowral. I was in Bowral with my friend Nicole Waples. She was trying to get into the navy so, unemployed at the time. She took a weekend off to take me down and show me around. She grew up there. Anyway, it just so happened that another friend in Bowral was having a bit of a shin-dig on the Saturday night. It was held at their parent’s triangular shaped house. It’s a great house, the kind you’d expect from a retired Australian rock star - someone like Jimmy Barnes. Actually I think their dad was in that band, Ganga Jang. Anyway, so we were drinking and being merry. One drink led to another and before I knew it, it was time for a wee. I had on my little home-made denim cut offs, some trashy ripped stockings underneath and over the top I wore an over-sized maroon grandpa cardi. So, I went to the toilet, pulled my pants down (the way you do when you have to wee) and suddenly I hear this plop! My iPhone had slipped out of my back pocket and right into the bowl of the toilet. I plunged my hand into the bowl, grabbed it out and then, not knowing what to do(and being slightly drunk) I put it on the soft toilet mat to dry. I sat back on the toilet and finished my wee. I pondered about whether it could be saved. The screen was lit up white, I turned it off. Then I thought, after shaking a lot of the water out, maybe it would work and so I turned it back on. It was all white again so I turned it off. I proceeded to turn it on and off about 4 times. I probably fried the insides.
I was sad, surely it was dead. I was embarrassed to tell my friends. Besides laughing at me, they all had the same question, pre wee or post wee? Needless to say, the phone was never revived.
Go to part two here